Monster
by Xaja Silversheen
Summary: What have I done? I've become a monster, and I hate what I've become. But the nightmare's just begun... Songfic to "Monster" by Skillet.


**DISCLAIMER: Mwahahaha! I have it! My very own One Ring of Unlimited Copyright Privileges, which gives me the ownership to both Star Wars and Skillet! YES! *trips over a crack in the sidewalk and drops the Ring down a drain* Oh, bugger...**

**I don't own Star Wars. Nor do I own "Monster", the song used for this fic. Even though it is an amazing song. Skillet owns it, and they rock even more than I do. Yes, that is possible, LOL. Anyway, enjoy!**

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_The secret side of me_

_I never let you see_

_I keep it caged but I can't control it_

_So stay away from me_

_The beast is ugly_

_I feel the rage, and I just can't hold it_

He couldn't believe he'd just wiped out an entire settlement of Tusken Raiders, to avenge the death of one person.

That one person meant so much to him though... How could they murder his mother like that?

How could he have murdered the innocent women and children of the tribe?

Padmé understood him. But no one else would. He knew Cliegg Lars, his mother's husband, looked at him askance, as did his step-siblings. And those looks, he felt, were justified.

_It's scratching on the walls_

_In the closet, in the halls,_

_It comes awake, and I can't control it_

_Hiding under the bed, _

_In my body in my head_

_Why won't somebody come and save me from this?_

_Make it end!_

He wished he could confess to Obi-Wan what he'd done. But... how could he? Obi-Wan already didn't want him. If the Jedi Council found out about this, he'd be expelled from the Order, Chosen One or not!

He knew Padmé wouldn't betray him. And he was pretty sure the Lars family wouldn't either.

Whether he would betray himself was a different matter entirely.

_I feel it deep within_

_It's just beneath the skin_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster!_

_I hate what I've become_

_The nightmare's just begun_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster!_

_I, I feel like a monster!_

_I, I feel like a monster!_

He stared down at his dirty, blood-stained robe and boots. His lightsabre hild was speckled with Tusken blood.

"I'm a monster," Anakin softly whispered to himself and the droids around him.

_The secret side I keep_

_Hid under lock and key_

_I keep it caged, but I can't control it_

_Cause if I let 'him out_

_He'll tear me up, break me down_

_Why won't somebody come and save me from this?_

_Make it end!_

"What am I doing?" he whispered as he crept through the halls of the Temple, seeking any other hidden Jedi. He could hear the clone troopers marching through the Temple, could occasionally hear the blasters fire, along with the screams of dying Jedi.

The Jedi that he had once called his family, his best friends.

He'd watched four other Jedi Masters die at Palpatine's hands earlier, including Mace Windu. And he'd still agreed to wipe out the remainder of the Jedi that had taken him in and trained him as one of their own. But he would do it for Padmé. He'd do anything for Padmé.

Yet, try as he might, he couldn't banish the memory of the betrayal in the eyes of his fellow Jedi as he'd cut them down. Children had run to him for protection, only to be send prematurely into the Force. His closest friends hadn't been spared death. The Council chambers, the gardens, the meditation rooms... All were stained with blood spilt by his hand.

_I feel it deep within_

_It's just beneath the skin_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster!_

_I hate what I've become_

_The nightmare's just begun_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster!_

_I, I feel like a monster!_

_I, I feel like a monster!_

He supposed that if the Dark Side hadn't had such a strong grip over him, he'd be bitterly grieving for those who had just died. As it was, he felt slightly sick.

But he couldn't turn back now. He'd come too far. Even if he did repent, the surviving Jedi would kill him, if the clones didn't. And he had to help Padmé. _I need to keep her from dying._

Footsteps behind him alerted him to an approaching attack. He spun, easily cutting through Knight Esniki's slender body. The human woman gasped as the blade sliced through her midsection, sinking to the cold floor. She managed to whisper, "Why?" before her grey eyes glassed over as she passed into the Force.

Anakin looked at his glowing blade. "Because I'm a monster."

_It's hiding in the dark_

_Its teeth are razor sharp_

_There's no escape for me_

_It wants my soul, it wants my heart_

_No one can hear me scream_

_Maybe it's just a dream_

_Maybe it's inside of me_

_Stop this monster!_

He struggled to function his new robotic body. He couldn't believe he was alive, although now a cyborg replica of what he had been before. It felt so abnormal, to not be able to control his own breathing. It sounded loud in his ears, and he was sure everyone around him could hear it as well.

He looked towards Palpatine. "Where is Padmé?"

"I'm afraid that in your anger, you killed her."

His screams resonated throughout the medical bay. _I've destroyed everything that I had to live for. I truly am a monster._

_I gotta lose control_

_Here's something radical_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster_

_I, I feel like a monster!_

_I, I feel like a monster!_

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**No, I'm not at all obsessed with Skillet. *shifty eyes* What makes you think that?**

**Anyway, please review, tell me what you think! And "No Longer Missing" and "Castaway" will be updated as soon as I can manage. Just hang on a couple more days!**

**Thanks for reading! Please review!**

**Xaja**


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